Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Attention Police

Attention Police
This is for someone special: Mr Clap-Out-Loud! Why didn't you prove what a big man you are and stop me from coming here? So I hear that I don't have what it takes to 'protect' my work. First I wasn't enough of an artist to write my songs and now I'm not enough of a cop to protect them? Because it isn't my job to protect my songs. That's a police matter. And who else is a wimp? Let's see. Have you ever gone to a concert and seen a police barricade in front of the stage? Better clap out loud! And have you ever seen illegal copies of other artists' songs on the internet? What wimps, eh? I hope all you music fans know enough to stop respecting your favourite artists as soon as you successfully download an illegal copy of their work from the web because that makes them wimps.

I love the logic you use in your argument. When you steal my work, you're not a disgusting creep, I'm a wimp! And why would you need to steal my laughs? Because my laughs are based on truth and can't be ripped apart as easily as your lying laugh is being ripped apart here. For example, to see how I have taken this kind of feedback to its logical conclusion, read my earlier post entitled 'The Other Side'.

And I must be a wimp for not going to the label and saying 'PLEASE PLEASE GIVE ME A RECORDING CONTRACT! TAKE ME OFF THE STREET AND AWAY FROM ALL THESE PEASANTS WHO ONLY RESPECT THE PEOPLE THEY SEE ON TV! PLEASE! PLEASE! I'LL DO ANYTHING! OH PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!

And I must be a wimp for not attacking the United States by myself and surrounding the White House and forcing the president to enforce their copyright laws.

It's understandable to see why people admire criminals when NBC makes stars out of them and don't even prosecute them for committing three years of fraud on their network. And let's not forget all those heroes with my songs and how they stay on the radio. And I must be a wimp for having to lie in bed in my 100 degree room and tolerate it year after year.

And don't worry, ladies. I don't hold it against you when this creep says 'Without Dave you can't have babies.' I'm sure you'd all rather have babies than reptiles.
  
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