Saturday, July 13, 2013

Top Stories

Top Stories
In the news today, scaling back working wages makes you richer by forcing you to discipline your spending. So says a leading think tank sponsored by the Bank of North America. And here are their statistics to prove it. Aren't they convincing? Just look at that research! And aren't those attractive colours in that pie graph? I just love that cherry red they used for men past the age of forty-five.

And structuring a whole economy around weapons sales is creative. Just ask anyone who has not been killed for saying otherwise.

This just in: the main plant of the fertilizer giant, COW Chemical, has been leveled by a massive explosion caused by a buildup of methane gas in the animal stalls. (Aside) Is this true? It is? Great! Now who's going to send us our top stories?
  
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