Wednesday, July 24, 2013

Fans of the Flames

Fans of the Flames
How many counts of fraud was Tina charged with? I make it several hundred. What's the current sentence in the United States for several hundred counts of fraud? Two weeks?

What was the fuss I heard last night? Another challenge against my claims? Is Jay Leno still on TV? Wasn't he charged with fraud? Did they do anything about Jimmy's Friendly Frauleins? No? Is Taylor coming up for another show soon? How did everyone like the last one?

Do people turn to the corporate media to learn about the social media? I thought it was supposed to work the other way around. I thought no one could trust the corporate media because they're on the payroll. I haven't heard a radio report since the 2011(?) hockey finals in Vancouver. An announcer said that Calgary fans were chanting 'Anyone but Vancouver.' Why did they choose to share that story here? Because the corporate media will say anything to provoke a response. They don't care how much it upsets you. Are many readers tuning in to see the corporate media legitimize my claims? Do they make you wait through the whole broadcast night after night without doing it? Sounds like they have you on a hook. It's not your fault or anything, but that puts me on a hook, one that makes me feel sorry for worms.

Were any groupies offended by that last attempt groupie humour, The Groupie Farm? I erased it. Sorry. I'm sure no groupies out there ever accidentally offended me.

Sure would be great to go out and sing my songs at a venue around here. Is it safe to do that? How many bands are in this now? Is it just Crytalids fans, Oasis fans, Taylor Swift fans, and Rolling Stones fans who have been turned against me with my songs? And is it only Saturday Night Live fans and Simpsons fans and Family Guy fans and Tonight Show fans and MAD TV fans and Daily Show fans and Dateline fans and Jimmy Kimmel fans and Conan fans (remember 'Dagwood'?) and other fans of televised comedy who have been turned against me with my writing?

Irish fans, sorry for complaining about the U2 show. It was a good performance of their own songs and nothing for anyone else to complain about.

How's Dateline? Did they come into close contact with Dean in early November last year? Did they need to get him to write something? Lyrics perhaps? What kind of a pen did they give him? Was it one of those shiny gold ones that might be used to sign a serious business contract? Because I lost a pen like that. I think it might have fallen off my window ledge and landed on Powell Street outside my building a year and a half earlier. I want my pen. I found it on a mailbox and it's mine. If it isn't returned to me in twenty-four hours I'm calling the cops.

Let me tell you how I feel about Mick Jagger: I loved him. I drew a flattering portrait of Mick and Keith when I was in High School. Ask my art teacher. Ask my niece about the book I gave her in 2004: The Simpsons and Philosophy. Ask anyone how much I used to enjoy good comedy on TV. I remember writing something very nice about Oasis, too. And I remember writing about how I wanted George Carlin in my Heaven with Jesus. I guess they didn't feel the same way about me.
  
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© 2013. Statements by David Skerkowski. All rights reserved.

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